Finding your people

I was laying awake around 4-ish this morning, think of Bunny sleeping in prison, wondering how long that will be her daily life - 2 weeks - a few more months - years? It's all unknown and yet even just a few more days feel like too much for me to bear. This is my best friend Bunny. 13 years old - blonde hair, blue eyes and barely 95 pounds. How is this our reality?

I tried to comfort myself thinking of people of the faith in prison - Joseph, unjustly imprisoned for the lies of Potipher's wife; Jeremiah, chained because the people didn't like what he was prophesying; John the Baptist - jailed and beheaded for speaking truth against Herod; Peter, Paul, Silas, and so many others jailed and eventually martyred for professing their faith. This wasn't really a source of comfort. Bunny is justly detained. Bunny is guilty.

On this side of justice, the same old verses and heroes of the faith aren't nearly as inspirational as you'd like them to be. Job was selected to be tempted specifically because of his righteousness. Daniel faced the lions den for refusing to stop praying and worshiping the one true God. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego refused to bow down to an idol, even if the Lord didn't save them from the fiery furnace. Joshua watched the walls crumble at the sound of trumpets. Elijah faced down the priests of Baal. And nearly every apostle of the Lord died for the Lord's sake. When you are on the side of righteousness, it's a lot easier to cry to Lord. The Lord is perfect and just - He is righteous in all of His ways. Of course He would answer the call for something right and good.

But that's not my crew anymore. I hang with Jacob, as he is on the run from stealing his brother's blessing by lying to his dad. I'm in the crowd watching Aaron (you know - start of the whole high priestly line) fashion a golden calf because Moses is taking too long on the mountain.  I'm in the throne room with David, as Nathan says "you are that man" - having ordered the death of Uriah the Hittite so David could take his wife. These are my people - not to glorify their mistakes but to see God's grace in action.

We all are recipients of grace and mercy and forgiveness. For some, you can feel pretty self-righteous and mirror the prayers of these faith warriors that fill our children's board books and are made into Veggie Tales films. But some of us (me) feel the need for grace and mercy and forgiveness more acutely.

What's amazing to me is that Jesus' own lineage includes Jacob and David. The very fact the bible shows people like Jacob and David at their worst and their best is such a huge comfort for me. I know Bunny is not only that 60 minutes of January 8th. That is not the sum of who she is - who she was - or who she will become.

I simply cannot stand under the weight of "what should be". That life is gone forever. But here and now - living in "what is" - I take comfort that this isn't the end of the story. And even in our worst, we are still in good company.