David and I talk about finding a new normal. A normal that doesn’t have our daughter in our house for an extended time in the future. A normal that involves regular phone calls with detention centers, lawyers, probation officers, and therapists. A normal that had upend everything in our life in less than 2 weeks - our 6 month plan executed in mere hours.
But the shock hasn’t worn off. And I don’t want it to. I don’t want to accept life as a family of 4. I don’t want to accept that one night - just minutes really - as the defining truth and reality of her or us. We are more than our worst moments. We are not the sum of our mistakes.
I‘m not trying to live in denial or delusion or with my head in the sand. I’m trying to live with my head held high - knowing that my daughter is more than the prosecutor paints her to be. Knowing that the promises of God for her and our future still hold true. Knowing that while everything around us is changing and seeming to spin out of control, the core realities of who God is and who we are have not changed.
Most of us have the luxury of keeping the very worst of ourselves hidden from the world. But let me assure you, if you knew my every thought - if you knew my temptations - you’d be shocked. But I would still be me.
So yes, we are shocked and horrified about all of it. But I know my daughter. And our love has not wavered for a moment. That will not change.
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